What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Yes sir it is.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

HELLO

I’m British and I'm hella bummed about it. Wish I was American or even Canadian, ’cause let’s be real, Canada’s gonna end up part of the States anyway. What should I do?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Are you afraid to get married and why?

Sure no problem officer.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

What is the dirtiest thing you have allowed your husband to do?

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

{RING} {RING}

After a few moments he returns.

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Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

Why do men choose to marry a plain Jane woman over a pretty woman?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.